I was talking to my aunt today about how much I miss Rebecca and how we’re going another month without talking and it’s making me really depressed. We started referencing Abraham and Isaac and how God asked Abraham to take Isaac up on Mount Moriah and sacrifice him. I asked her “I wonder how long Abraham waited before going to the mountain?” then I asked “I wonder if he asked God again “Are you sure?” She pulled up the passage and sent it to me over Instant Messenger. It was humbling.
Not only did Abraham not get his child till he was 100, when God called to him, he said “Here I am” listened to God’s instruction, and left the NEXT MORNING for Moriah. They traveled the first and second day, and on the third day he started up the mountain with Isaac and together they carried the wood, the fire and the knife. Part way up Isaac says “dad I see wood and fire, but no lamb….” Abraham replies “God will supply the lamb” and they carried on.
They get to the spot, Abraham ties up Isaac, pulls out his knife and is about to sacrifice him when the angel says “Abraham Abraham!” and of course he replies “Here I am” and the angel tells him not to harm the boy, and that he (the angel) now knows that Abraham fears God because he wouldn’t even withhold his only son from him.
A few things stick out to me in this story:
1) Abraham knew the voice of God and responded immediately
2) Abraham did what he was told to do, and he did it immediately. (Not gonna say he didn’t question it, but if he did, his questioning didn’t prevent him from obedience. I’ll ask him someday)
3) Abraham led his son well by modeling the example of obedience, and the belief that God is truly good and gives us everything we need.
4) God allowed Abraham to keep that which he was willing to give back to Him.
Here’s how it relates to me:
1) I know when God speaks to me, I have a clear sense of God’s guidance in my life. God gives me good questions to ask, and speaks through the answers to those questions.
2) The last 5 weeks have been so difficult. Becky and I have spoken a LOT, and we worked through the issues we needed to resolve, and we both grew a lot in those 5 weeks. Now after seeing her again, and having an AMAZING time with her and sensing “something’s not right” we’re back to not talking for a month or so (hopefully less!) Its been 3 days and I want to talk to her so bad it’s crazy. God called us not to communicate right now, and I need to obey it. This is really hard for me.
3) I hope and pray Becky and I get to keep our relationship. In the meantime, I need to model good leadership so that if (hopefully when) the time comes, I won’t be disqualified from leading us in a marriage because I didn’t model leadership throughout our entire relationship. Can she really trust me to provide for her if I’m not willing to let God provide for me?
4) I have had the hardest time letting go of this. I have held on very tightly because I love her SO much. I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving her, and I couldn’t imagine having any other woman. If God says “give it to me” and I say “no” that means I’m putting Rebecca over God, and that’s not good. God will never give me a gift that takes me away from Him. If I want God’s greatest blessing (which I believe is Rebecca), then I have to give him that which is closest to my heart.
If I disobey God in this moment I’ll never get her back. Obedience is the only chance I have to regain my amazing relationship with her.
Such a simple passage of scripture, but it’s so pregnant with meaning and application. I should have read this long ago. It probably would have saved a lot of heartache.